Dear Virginia,
Remember me? Silver Pen? I was given to you yesterday during your going away party at the office? There is still a little bit of vanilla cupcake frosting on me? Green Marble Paperweight and I are a little hurt that we've so quickly been relegated to the junk drawer in your nightstand. Maybe you can't see me, nestled here between all these iPod cords, your passport, and a ruler that lists the complete works of William Shakespeare in chronological order? I'm trying to stay shiny--keep my spirits high--in the hopes that someday soon you realize what a treasure I am and remove me from the Drawer of Forgotten Stuff.
Is it because I hurt your feelings? Green Marble Paperweight and I didn't mean to make you feel like a 65 year old man heading off to a sunny retirement in Florida. We had the best intentions, even if we are...you know...totally useless. Heck, Christmas is only ten months away, maybe you could regift us to a more WORTHY recipient. Say, your father. Grandfather. A lucky uncle. I'm sure they would be happy to have us and would actually give us a place of honor atop their desks.
Oh Virginia, I take that back please don't hate me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you at all. Like any inanimate object, I just want to be used, abused, and then tossed aside. I want my fifteen minutes in the sun. And so, I have penned you a haiku:
Paperweight and pen
Alone in the junk drawer
We just want some love
Sincerely yours,
Silver Pen
20 comments:
a lucky uncle? you crack me up.
They gave you a pen and a paperweight? Wow. This makes me think that maybe you are some creepy 40 year old man posing as a 20 somethings girl. I mean why else would they give you those things as a going away present? :)
Haha, oh VA you crack me up.
Happy end of your job! Woo!
Gee your ex-work colleagues sound like a right blast. I bet the work parties were a real hoot!
Hahaha... you nerd. I heart you.
You're too funny! Now go show that pen some love!
Hahahaha you crack me up!
Have a great weekend.
Erm ... who needs a paperweight? I have never understood this. Unless your office is in a wind tunnel, of course.
Also - why are they giving you office supplies if you're leaving your job?
hahaha. I love it.
You know I actually feel bad for inadament objects. Especially stuffed animals. Isn't that sad?
Duuuude, novelty rulers are the best!! Might I say, they RULE.
The things my drawer of forgotten stuff would say... I liked this a lot!
I can't get over lspoon's comment now! ha.
Have you read this blog? It is sort of about this sort of thing ... Kind of fun to read about what she pulls out of drawers and their history and such...
I meant this blog ... sorry
Awww that's soo annoying though. You'd think they could actually, gasp, put some thought into it and give you something you'll actually like andm aybe even use too!
Duhhh why bother?
I loved thi - very funny!I definitely have my own DOFS...
First time reader here. Letter is hilarious. What have you done with the pen since then?
I say you're fine as long as you always proudly display any Dundy awards you may earn.
yay this means you're all done with your old job! Congrats :)
I got a red stapler when I left my last job.
Dude, I got that same silver pen when I left my job! HA!
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