Are You a Lover or a Hater?

"Hey Virginia, you up for another game of beer pong?" a senior guy calls out from across the room. Like most of the people here at the party, I have no idea who he is. I am really bad with names, though to be fair, I only met him an hour ago and his extreme Abercrombie & Fitch model-like hotness intimidates me. The freshman boys definitely don't look like that.

"No dude, I'm tired of whooping you so badly," I say as I shake my head. He laughs, claps me on the shoulder, and turns back to his friends. I giggle and blush crimson red. Ohmigod he touched my shoulder!

I look around the room. Everything is a wee bit blurry from all the vodka, and I know that waking up for my History of the Middle Ages class at 8:30 tomorrow morning is going to be really difficult. I'm dressed as a naughty nurse and keep having to pull down the hem of my skirt so that it actually covers my tush. And how the heck can people wear high heels all the time?! My feet are KILLING me. I try to ignore the throbbing as I walk from the beer pong table to the other side of the living room, where a flip cup table has been set up. Someone asks me if I want to play, and I put my name on the list for the next round.

I feel a little out of my element right now. I think I'm the only freshman at this shindig. I'm at the apartment of one of my senior sorority sisters, Jess. Her boyfriend gave her his fraternity pin a month or so ago. It is now their Tank Week, which means that there is a theme party every night leading up to the serenade (i.e., the really cute formal ceremony on the commons where he'll officially give his pin to her) on Saturday night. Jess is technically in my "family." When I was initiated, I got a big sister who was a mentor, of sorts, and Jess is the big sister of my big sister's big sister...or something. That's pretty much the only reason I'm here right now. Everyone else is one of Jess or Kevin's close friends. But it's a fun party and I've met a lot of upperclassmen who don't judge me for only being 18, which makes me feel cool. My friends will be jealous when I tell them about it at breakfast tomorrow.

"Hey VA, are you ready to play?"

My attention quickly turns back to the flip cup table. I play a few rounds and my team does really well. High fives and back slapping all around! Suddenly the table quiets and I feel a presence behind me. Before I can look to see who is standing there, she has grabbed my arm and is dragging me down the hallway towards the bathroom. She tries the handle, but the door is locked, so she shoves me roughly against the wall and pins me there with a beefy hand on each of my shoulders.

Mary Jane is a senior, and I don't think she has ever said a word to me before. She's a giant and can drink anyone--guy or gal--under the table. When she deems it necessary to even come down to the house, she is usually still drunk from the night before and wearing a giant pair of sunglasses to ward off the headache-inducing sunlight. Like Moses and the Red Sea, people immediately part and make way for Mary Jane wherever she goes. She is a force...a scary, must-be-avoided-at-all-costs force.

I can smell the beer on her breath as Mary Jane glares at me menacingly. It feels like ages before she says anything, and I begin to wonder if she intends on just pushing me through the drywall and into the bathroom. Everyone in the living room is still very quiet, though I can hear some whispering and an occasional "SHHHH!"

She knows. She must have figured it out somehow. I am going to KILL my friends. When we all went through sorority recruitment in January, I had thought that Mary Jane was...special. Come on, the room was dimly lit whenever I saw her, she was walking funny, and her face was kind of wonky to begin with, regardless of whether or not she had been hitting the bottle (which I'm sure she had). I had honestly just made a mistake. And then clearly made another HUGE mistake by telling my now former friends that she reminded me of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

My thoughts are forced back to the present when Mary Jane tightens her grip on my shoulders and pushes me up against the wall even harder. I am willing myself not to cry...don't cry Virginia, not here in front of all these people. Don't think about how badly you need to pee or how you are too young to die, especially at the hands of this intoxicated she-male.

"Are you a LOVER or a HATER?" she suddenly growls.

My voice is stuck in my throat. Am I a lover or a hater? A lover or a hater of WHAT?!

"Um...of what?" I meekly cough, knowing that this is not the answer she is looking for.

She narrows her eyes and shakes her head in disappointment. Her face is maybe an inch away from mine. I could count her pores if I wasn't so afraid for my life.

"OF MEEEEEE!!!!" she yells.

What?! What the freak is she talking about?? I try to smile (I'm sure it doesn't hide my fear) and say, "I'm a lover, of course! Of course! You are great!"

She lets go and takes a step back. Okay, maybe she doesn't know about the little error I made three months ago. I could be safe. I sink down and let out the huge breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding. My feet are touching the floor again. Mary Jane says nothing, just nods curtly, smiles (the devil may have a more friendly smile than Mary Jane), and walks back down the hallway to the living room. Games and chatter and good times immediately resume. I rub my shoulders and shakily make my way towards the flip cup table again.

The hot guy from earlier is standing there. He says something to the affect of, Don't worry about it, Mary Jane does this sometimes, she thinks you're a wicked cool freshman that's why she wants to know if you like her, blah blah blah. Mmmm his eyes are so pretty. Then he puts his arm around me, hands me a much-needed drink, and says that I can be on his team.

"Game on!" I say. My friends are going to be so jealous when I tell them about this at breakfast tomorrow.